Super Bowl Preview Week: Defense Comparison

There was alot of snow everywhere yesterday so I took a snow day from blogging. Sorry. Back to my regularly scheduled getting-worked-up-over-nothing.

Defensive Line: Ziggy Hood, Casey Hampton, Brett Kelsel vs. Ryan Pickett, B.J. Raji, Cullen Jenkins

On the basis of names, Ziggy Hood gives the Steelers the edge.

On the basis of people who’s names I have heard, Beej Raji gives the Packers the edge.

On the basis of actual football, it is a draw.

EDGE: Draw

Linebackers: LaMarr Woodley, James Farrior, Lawrence Timmons, James Harrison vs. Clay Matthews, A.J. Hawk, Desmond Bishop, Erik Walden

James Harrison has no backup on the depth chart and although I am probably not the first to notice this, I think this is a sign. He is going to be injured during this game. Can they sub in some random other linebacker and have Woodley and Farrior dominate? I don’t like to speculate about things.

However, if James Harrison goes down, the Packers will have the definitive advantage at the LBs. Clay Matthews and A.J. Hawk are very good. I don’t want to fight them in a dark alley or anywhere ever really.

So depending on the inevitable injury actually happening, I say:

EDGE: Draw

Cornerbacks: Bryant McFadden, Ike Taylor vs. Charles Woodson, Tramon Williams

I have been told (via reading ESPN.com) that Bryant McFadden is going to get torched like a mug by Greg Jennings. Also: Greg Jennings is not a tight end? I thought he was. Who am I thinking of?

Taylor Ike or Die. Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow.

Charles Woodson is like 50 and Tramon Williams is not good, I think. So:

EDGE: Draw

Safeties: Ryan Clark, Troy Polamalu vs. Nick Collins, Charlie Peprah

Troy Polamalu plays like a man. He is everywhere and nowhere all at once. Wait, no he’s just everywhere.

However, HOWEVER. He has ridiculous hair.

Nick Collins nickname should be ‘Salt’ because he reminds me alot of Veruca Salt (via Willy Wonka) and Salt from the hit movie ‘Salt’ with Angelina Jolie.

And then we could call the Packer safeties ‘Salt and Peprah.’

EDGE: Draw

xXx Special Bonus Matchup xXx: Troy Polamalu vs. Clay Matthews

The Hair Matchup. Wow I really don’t care about this. It’s just getting mad blog hits for some reason. I just find it to be kitsch.

EDGE: Draw

So the final score is 0-0-5. That’s some well-thought out writing. (See, the joke’s on you though because I actually did plan it out. I hadn’t even looked at the matchups because I thought doing all 5 as draws would be funnie.)

Additionally,

Lil’ Wayne has released a track entitled ‘Green and Yellow.’ No one is really sure why. He is a Saints fan apparently. But no he’s not. I am super confused.

I do like the song though. He calls out Ike Taylor as well as claiming when the Packers win they will ‘cut Troy Polamalu’s hair off.’

 

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