New Year, Same Swag

3 out of the first 20 images on the 'new years resolution' Google Images page feature both an apple and a measuring tape.

My New Year’s resolution was to never blog again. But then I realized that was unrealistic.

So I decided to wait 26 days. January 26th. ‘Perfect time to come back,’ I said to myself.

Really, all it takes to blog is a topic to anger me up enough. So I’m just gonna riff on one thing:

Chad Ochocinco changing his name back to Johnson.

You know what? I disagree with changing your name here Chad.

Ochocinco has become you, Johnson just doesn’t fit.

Ochocinco to me perfectly represents Chad.

A terrible, cliche, shameless attention grabber. Who isn’t even good at football.

This is a desperate, most likely unemployed football former-superstar trying for one last shot at credibility. No. Attention. Not credibility, because he never had that.

So Chad Javon Jonson/Ochocinco, enjoy the last time I will ever blog about you.

Enjoy the last time anyone will ever blog about you.

Because unless you have 5+ TDs in a season in 2011 or 2012 or ever again, I will never use the words Chad Johnson ever again.

At least not in that order.

COMING SOON: Chad Pennington sexted his girlfriend? Check back tomorrow to see Chad’s Johnson.

Woah that was a close one.

I am completely joking though. I have no sexual pictures of Chad Pennington. Sorry ladies, go elsewhere.

Child please.

Kiss the baby.

Goodbye Chad.

Goodbye.

 

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