Handicappin’ The ‘Offs

Handicapping the Playoffs. NFL that is.

Alright. So round 1.

I’ll tell you who is going to win and who to bet on and win money with.

AFC WILD CARD 3v6: Indy Colts v NY Jets (+3)

No lines have been set yet so I’m going to be guessing every line.

I would bet against Peyton Manning here. I really don’t like the Jets but Manning has just not looked himself this year.

Maybe he’ll go all Boston Celtics on us and loaf through the season and turn it on come playoff time. But basketball and football don’t exactly match up like that.

Basketball regular season is completely worthless.

Football season matters. I don’t understand why and can’t explain it but you and I both know I am right. Otherwise why would I say it.

I am always correct.

Classic Blog Moment: Posting a picture of an athlete and his wife.

AFC WILD CARD 4v5: Kansas City Chiefys (+6) v Balty Ravens

Joe Waka Flacco Flame is probably going to torch a weak Chiefs defense.

And Charlie Weis is gonna mail it in like Flo Rida. Mail On Sunday.

(P.S. That Flo Rida pun works ever better than I thought because he’s going to Florida. I am a wordsmith pt.2)

The intersection of football and rap. Wonder if that’s ever happened before, y’all.

Innovation.

NFC WILD CARD 3v6:

Philly Eagles v Greeny Bay Packers (+14)

The Eagles are going to destroy the Packers.

Sorry Cheeseheads.

Aaron Rodgers may be a b3astmod3 fantasy QB but Mike Vick is going to destroy you in every possible way.

Wait, no AJ Hawk is pretty good. He can probably spy Vick pretty hard.

Hm. Still. The line has been set. I think Desean and Maclin have big games.

AJ Hawk is unattractive.

NFC WILD CARD 4v5: Seattley Seahawks v New Orleansy Saints (+1.5)

This is a classic case of seeding. I think the Seahawks deserve the higher seed and will win this game based entirely on that fact.

FACT: 4 always beats 5.

Look for Charlie Whitehurst to throw 6+ TDs against a weak Saints secondary.

Charlie Whitehurst is really good looking. In a McDreamy kind of way.
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