Reactions and Actions and Predictions and Repredictions

Cool Suit

College Football. People care about it.

Hard-hitting lede. (Lede is like an intro, in blogspeak or well, anything-speak.) But that was probably my best lede ever. I mean it accurately sums up all the content of this post in 6 words and two periods.

The Heisman is announced tomorrow I believe. Spoiler alert: Cam Newton is going to get it.

Sure, some sportswriters are using their votes as signs of disapproval. Protest.

Of what do you disapprove? The NCAA has deemed him eligible for the entire year. What more do you need?

Wait, I know. You want the potential POTENTIAL ‘I-told-ya-so’ if Newton is found to have cheated. Because no one would protest in a vote that means very little to anyone. So you crazy protesters just want to MAYBE be able to say I told you so. And no one even likes that guy. So don’t do it. Vote for Cam Newton.

Kid dropped mad crazy numbers all over our collective dome and then some. How anyone stopped the Auburn offense from scoring every time is beyond me. Dropped balls? I mean honestly how anyone can bring down Cam is beyond me.

Yes, we are on a first-name basis.

Heck I say give the Bednarik Award (Defensive Player of the Year) to the Auburn receiving corps because they stopped the best player in the country very well. Hiyo.

I don’t know. Dude’s a monster.

But that’s not why I came here to say stuff to you. I came to react to awards given out last night.

I take issue with 3 Awards given out last night/previously.

  1. The Home Depot Award (Coach of the Year) – Gene Chizik, Auburn
  2. The Chuck Bednarik/Jim Thorpe Award(s) – Patrick Peterson, LSU
  3. The Lou Groza Award – Dan Bailey, Oklahoma State

1. First off, in what I will now deem the Mike Brown corollary, Chizik absolutely did not deserve this award. That is ridiculous. I equate this to Mike Brown winning the Coach of the Year award in the NBA which he absolutely did not deserve. This was before everyone figured out the Cavs all-too-nothing offense.

‘Hey guys let’s just let LeBron dribble for 20 seconds and hope we score.’ -Mike Brown. That is a direct quote. Quote me on it.

It didn’t work. It worked for like half a season in 2007. How he won it in 2009 is beyond me.

Should have gone to Chip Kelly. Because he actually engineered a good offense. I mean it takes great athletes which he has but read the NY Times piece on him if you want analysis. Because you ain’t gonna find it here.

Also: where does the name Chip come from? Always wanted to know but I was too afraid to ask. Don’t know why I was afraid. Guess that’s why I have a blog. Hm.

2. The fact that Patrick Peterson won any awards is offensive to me.

Prince Amukamara was the best defensive back in the country. No questions asked. Sure Peterson had 7 picks. But that’s because people were still throwing to his side of the field.

Amukamara made people throw away from him. That is real talent.

PETERSON WON A DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD. I am upset about this fact.

All caps should communicate that.

3. The kicker thing I don’t care about. I just want to address the way in which Martin Gramatica announced the name. Two of the finalists were named a derivative of Daniel. (Dan and Danny).

He said Dan and then waited for what felt like 5 seconds. Then Bailey.

Frankly I would be in favor of this for the Heisman or an award that people sorta care about. The Oscars? Yes please.

‘Best Picture is… Up. In the Air. Eff off PIXAR!!!!!!!’

That would be funny. Except I liked Up alot.

Gramatica took a lame award and made it about him instead of the kids.

Bush league.

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