The Dez Bryant Situation

Everyone loves Rookie Hazing.

Except maybe rookies. But no one cares what they think! They’re rookies!

I could use this as an excuse to post a whole buncha pics of grown men dressed in kiddie Halloween costumes. But that’s not my style.

Well, in a move that surprises no one, Dez Bryant is the one to speak up about this epidemic in professional sports.

As I am posting this, NFL Live has just spent 5 minutes analyzing this pseudo-situation.

On a side note, I don’t usually watch NFL Live even if the NFL is in season. But there’s nothing good on so I have it on mute so I can Blog.

Dez Bryant refused to carry Roy Williams pads. Or maybe he didn’t refuse, he just didn’t know. Regardless, Roy Williams didn’t have pads one day at practice.

What’s that? He did have his pads? He is capable of carrying them himself? You sure? He sucks though.

This whole ‘controversy’ is the fault of 3 parties.

1. Dez Bryant

Dez Bryant was the right pick. Sure, he’s got ‘character issues’ except wait no, I am not conceding that point. I think his talent was way undervalued in the draft and he will make many people look silly in the future. So no, I don’t think he’s guilty in the least. Maybe he is trying to make the point that every person on the face of the planet had spent 3 years trying to make. ROY WILLIAMS SUCKS REALLY BADLY.

Verdict: Not guilty.

2. Roy Williams

Roy Williams was the wrong trade. He’s letting passes go through his hands already and its like 3 days into training camp. He should be cut because of the skill albeit youth of the Cowboys receiving corps. I mean if they’re letting players like Flozell Adams and Ken Hamlin go, why not throw Roy Williams out too? They could try to trade him. But who would trade for a washed up hack like Roy Williams? I do not like Roy Williams.

Verdict: Guilty (of another charge. Sucking.)

3. The Media

The Media will make anything a story. Hell, what am I doing right now? NO ONE CARES WHO CARRIES ROY WILLIAMS PADS. So finish reading this post and then don’t think about it ever again. Dez Bryant is much, much better than stupid Roy Williams. He has not proven himself worthy of thie treatment.

Verdict: Guilty (except for Fantastik Sports. They’re chill.)

Jermichael Finley be damned.

On a second note: Jermichael Finley’s Twitter background is this:

TGI Finley's. Can I get a table for 2? LOL!

UPDATE: Jermichael has tweeted new information on his made up opinions:

MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Even your name is a weird combo. Jeremy or Michael. Pick one.
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