Looking Back on The Nba DRAFT

All this NBA Summer League on NBATV has me inspired. Well that and its a slow news day. Except the Texas Rangers are streaking like naked people through a mall. The Mall Of America.

1. John Wall, Washington Wizards

For all the hype, John Wall has been a huge letdown. First off, he has yet to drop a triple-double. That was like the one thing that was promised. (I can only assume he has no TDs, because the blogosphere would explode if that happened. And I am still alive. Or am I? Sorry y’all. Just watched Inception.)

John Wall will be good. He’s fast and good. But the question is, can he distribute. Sure, everyone loves a shoot first point guard. Hell, that’s the only kind I like to watch unless I’m in a deep, pretentious, traditionalist mood. (Hint: I am never in that mood.)

Because if he can’t distribute and learn to pick his spots for attacking the rim he will either a) be good until he’s about 25 and his legs start to go or b) have an injury-prone career.

No one wants to see that.

What kind of shirt do you think John Wall will wear in the NBA? Are shirts allowed? I'll bet it's black and gold and grey.

2. Evan Turner, Philadelphia 76ers

Overrated. Why waste words? He’s also quite strange looking.

I mean, kid could score in college. He was straight cash from anywhere inside 40 feet. But that was against the likes of Michigan and Northwestern, the latter of which has never made the tournament. Ever.

Facing competition from the Pacers or the Bulls or the Magic or the Bucks is around 90% harder. That’s just basic math. That just goes along with the ‘Great College Player’ mythos. Example A: Adam Morrison. Sure, he ‘rots on the bench’ but I mean, if that kid was half as good as his mustache (or anti-mustache) he would get some minutes. For Gosh’s sakes, he didn’t dress out for the last two NBA finals. DJ Mbenga PLAYED in some of those games. Get it together, Adam.

That’s what I predict for Evan. Prove me wrong.

The Other Evan Turner, with popular starlet Kristin Stewart. Are they the new 'it' couple?

3. Derrick Favors, New Jersey Nets

I know nothing about Derrick Favors. I will tell you that I love the Ga Tech colors and jerseys though. Could this have an impact on draft position?

Let’s see, Kentucky (see Wall, Cousins) has white and blue which is classic but they wear gaudy uniforms. So probably not.

Hm, what else to say about Derrick Favors.. Probably the worst place for the Nets to be. Top 2 they can catch a highly flame-out-able Evan Turner but no one would question their pick. Obviously 1 would be great because they could dump the Curse himself, Devin Harris, and probably get someone else. 3 is just such an awkward pick because no one knows what to do with it. Fill a need? Best available? I would have traded down.

Let someone else draft Favors.

Beautiful colors.

4. Wesley Johnson, Minnesota Timberwolves

I hate Syracuse players. Even ‘Melo.

He is from Corsicana, TX though.

Eh don’t really care. Seems basically like a project.

A project that averaged 16 and 8 in the Big East. I wish I was more familiar with his play.

Sorry y’all. Just can’t provide the in-depth analysis I usually do.

Wesley Johnson gives the 'finger' to DeMarcus Wear.

5. DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings

Character issues? Yes.

You know who else had character issues? Michael Jordan. He gambled. He was ruthless. He had bad hair.

All these things should be bad in your mind. But no. It’s MJ, so everything must have been great.

The question is: Is it too soon for an MJ comparison? Answer: yes. But I am going with it because if anyone outside of people I know is going to read this here blog, I need to make outrageous claims. Maybe this blog is only for my own sanity. Whatevz.

Peter Parker Swag?

6. Ekpe Udoh, Golden State Warriors

He went to Baylor and was very successful along with a few other semi-big name college players. However, he will miss the first six months of his career. Now while he was a dominating shot blocker in college, we could be looking at a poor man’s Oden if nothing more than talent level and injury prone-ness.

Prove me wrong, Ekpe.

How do you pronounce Ekpe? Eek-pay? Eck-pee? I’ll get back to y’all.

Nothing clever here...

UPDATE I: I didn’t actually plan on looking it up. Use Google or Bing.

UPDATE II: Do any of y’all use Bing?

UPDATE III: It’s epp-ay. I used Bing.

7. Greg Monroe, Detroit Pistons

Total sleeper pick. He will not bang with Cousins. He won’t really bang with any big men. Hopefully not at least.

He can pass like Magic and finish like Kyle Korver. Meaning he can pass very well and finish like a 6’5″-ish white guy. Meaning not well.

His footwork is to die for. Although I don’t really care about footwork and think its overrated.

Not the first time I have posted this picture of Greg Monroe.

8. Al-Farouq Aminu, Los Angeles Clippers

Wake Forest hasn’t been good since Chris Paul. Or Josh Howard. Total project.

Summer League is supposed to reassure teams by pitting their lottery picks against n00bs. This has not happened for Aminu. This is bad news.

Can’t wait for Blake Griffin and Aminu to team up though. That’d be a solid if young front line. Well, it would be solid if this was college. They’ll be eaten alive in the NBA.

Sorry Al-Faroq

Isn't he a Clipper?

9. Gordon Hayward, Utah Jazz

HEY GUYS! THIS TOTALLY FITS UTAH CUZ THERE’S SO MANY WHITE PEOPLE THERE AND GORDON HAYWARD’S WHITE!!!! LOL ~~

But really. Utah has the most Mormons and Mormonism is nearly entirely white.

Gordon Hayward = slightly better at driving, slightly worse at 3s Kyle Korver? Slightly better at 3s, slightly worse at 3pt contest Jason Kapono? Way better at 3s, way worse at dunks Shaquille O’Neal?

I could go on forever.

He can't look over 16 in any picture ever. He is the Babyface Killah.

10. Paul George, Indiana Pacers

Paul Simon + George Harrison = Paul George or Simon Harrison?

He looked solid in the one game I saw.

That is the depth of my analysis of the Pacers pick. Who even cares about them?

Paul George = Scary
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