The Briti Shopen

I love England. Its a pretty legit place once you get past the Queen and all her hotness/rockin’ bod.

Regardless, the British Open sucks. Except for every 5 years. It should be every 1 year and then it would never suck.

You know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.

St. Andrews (From this point forward to be referred to as Saint Androos.)

If only he knew how his legacy has been tainted..

So good ol’ Saint Androos hosts some lame golf tournament every 5 years. Its an amazing course. I luv it.

I am willing to bet anyone 10 bucks that I can shoot better than them on that course. (Coming Clean: I’m not actually willing to do that.)

But that fact that they made a golf course that has some holes sharing a green is either a sign of lack of foresight of golf’s meteoric rise to 6th most popular sport in America or just sheer bravado.

Yes, Soccer moved up to 5 due to the World Cup. Arguably it should overtake hockey. But that’s another post. Probably tomorrow. I’m flying by the seat of my shorts. Jean shorts.

Anyway, Saint Androos is so amazing because people are putting from 50 yards out. The Road hole has a single bunker that is so intimidating I heard Tiger said mean things about it. Couldn’t figure out where to go with that anecdote. Dammit.

With all that being said here are 5 Things The People Who Run The British Open Should Do To Fix The British Open’s Current Format.

  1. Play it at Saint Androos every year.
  2. I am already out of ideas.
  3. I thought this would work better.
  4. Time to throw in some British stereotypes that are ‘Funny’ (But really not funny)
  5. Make the players eat meat pies with bad teeth on a rainy day.
  6. Gosh #5 sure is funny.
  7. Would it be annoying to do a post entirely in List Form? That gives me an idea. I’m gonna do an entire post in list form.

Oh one other issue, make every Par 4 reachable off the tee and make every Par 5 a driver then a wedge. I am paying to see eagles and birdies. Not just birdies.

The winner was -17 or whatever. I would rather see -50. I want 59s to be commonplace.

Or possibly go to the Modified Stableford System. Don’t know what that is? Watch the celebrity/athlete Lake Tahoe ProAm. That’s the only place you’ll find it. Not on Google or anything..

Open that British!

Oh and about 2 paragraphs ago, I said I was paying for something? Nah, JK. I am not paying for anything. So I mean, I guess you don’t have to listen to me.

Also: Is this a new paragraph or what? Stanza? I don’t know. These are the things that keep me up at night.

So how about DWade calling the World Trade Center equivalent to the Heat losing 3 regular season games in a row.

(I am tempting your rude comment about “OMG!!! HE DIDN’T SaY ThAt!!!!!”)

Seriously. I want you to comment.

I hate the Heat.

I Haeat.

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