Renaming the Bobcats

It’s relatively well-publicized that the Charlotte Bobcats are on the name market.

They want a new moniker.

I’ve decided to throw my hat in an already overcrowded pool and help them.

Without further ado,


1. The Charlotte MichaelCats

Michael Jordan owns the Bobcats. Wait. No that’s not right. He does something with them.

Why not name the team after the most dominant player ever? And keep the Cats so they don’t lose their sense of history?

Because it is stupid, that’s why.

I did this Photoshop myself. Is it great? No. Is the cropping around Jordan's head amazing? Yes.

2/3. Chicago Bulls OR Detroit Pistons

“Why?” you might ask.

Well it’s obvious, my dear.

Jordan, who is involved in the organization won 6 titles with the Bulls.

“Yes, but what about the Pistons?”

Ah, yes. Larry Brown, current coach of the soon-to-be-renamed Charlotte Bobcats, won a title, his only NBA title mind you with the Detroit Pistons.

“But aren’t those names currently taken by other NBA franchises?”

I have never understood why when teams change their names they only change the second part. Except for the Lakers and the Jazz. Seriously. I have large problems with both teams.

Anyway, why limit oneself to the city where that team happens to play only HALF of its games?

Also: there is a ‘Morton’s of Chicago’ in Charlotte. So not only could they be the second (Morton’s of) Chicago Bulls but they could be the first team to be sponsored!!

“But what about Detroit? Is there anything in Charlotte with the name Detroit in it? I’m too lazy to do simple legwork.”

Covington Detroit Diesel. Done. I am such a Google Maps haus.

How do you spell Haus? Hoss? Boss?

I am a beast at Photoshop. That's current soon-to-be-renamed Bobcat, Nazr Mohammed. In a (Covington) Detroit (Diesel) Pistons Jersey.

4. Charlotte’s Got A Lot

The official tourist website for the city of Charlotte is called Charlotte’s Got A Lot.

ChArLOTte’s Got A Lot.

Make sense now?


It’s a stupid name because it rhymes.

Woah, don’t get me wrong, I love rhyming.

I don’t like rhyming CharLOTTE with aLOT.

That’s like rhyming bean with bean.


Charlotte's Got A Lot. Of Pinstripes. I love pinstripes.

5. Charlotte Racercar

3 Reasons:

  1. Racecar is a palindrome.
  2. Sets up headlines like “The Thunder Erase the Racecar” or “E-Raced” Yes, I am implying the soon-to-be-renamed Bobcats suck. They do.
  3. Jerseys are already made.
Get that checkered-flag print.

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