Back And The same than Ever

So what’d I miss?

Just kidding. I can’t start off with a stale joke.

Then I’d be Jay Leno.

Sorry. Had to do it.

It’s topical. Right?

Anyway.

The trade deadline was like really good and intense.

Better than past years.

5 Notable Trades of the Deadline.

1. The Oklahoma City Thunder get: No One.

Way overlooked. They didn’t move anyone and frankly I can dig it. Who could they have possibly added?

Kobe, LeBron, Dwayne Wade, Jermaine O’Neal, Carlos Boozer, Shaquille O’Neal… the list goes on.

But none of those players were available. Who was?

Brian Cardinal, Darko Milicic, Sebastian Telfair, Acie Law, Flip Murray…the list stops there.

So smart move. But then again, that’s OKC’s style. Making smart moves. And playing mediocre offense. But mostly smart moves.

Brian Cardinal Sucks. Verdict: Does Suck

2. The Sacramento Kings get: Dominic McGuire. The Washington Wizards get: Protected 2010 second-round pick from Kings.

Who cares?

This trade helps no one.

I’m losing faith in making trades at all.

Type "Protected 2010 second-round pick from Kings" into Google Images. This is the 4th image. Verdict: Does Not Suck.

3. The Knicks-Rockets-Kings Trade. I’m not typing all that out. And don’t say copy-paste because then the formatting is all goofy. Just leave me alone.

Tracy McGrady is the name like 90% of NBA fans care about. 8% care about Kevin Martin. 2% care about everyone else.

Hilton Armstrong, Joey Dorsey, Jordan Hill, Jared Jefferies… Big names.

Actually just cool-sounding names. But that’s not the point.

My faith in the deadline has been restored.

I just updated my faith status to restored.

Faith: Restored.

I wish I had a third joke here but I’m out.

You’re supposed to tell jokes in groups of three right?

Anyway.

It was either this candid pic of Hilton Armstrong or a picture of him getting posterized by Manu Ginobili. I made the right call. Verdict: Does Not Suck.

4. The Millwaukee Bucks get: Primoz Brezec, Royal Ivey and Sixers’ 2010 second-round pick. The Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers get: Francisco Elson, Jodie Meeks.

Seriously, Trade Deadline? You’re gonna do this to me? I just started to believe again.. there goes that.

But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Two words.

Jodie. Meeks.

He was John Wall minus the athleticism with infinity times the scoring.

There is not a single picture of Jodie Meeks in NBA apparel. Verdict: Does Not Suck. (Except, realistically, he does.)

5. The Washington Wizards get: Josh Howard, Drew Gooden, James Singleton, Quinton Ross. The Dallas Mavericks get: Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson.

An actually important trade.

The Mavs just got like REALLY good. Like compete-with-the-Lakers good. I think this definitely could be their breakout win-a-damn-championship year.

And I am NOT just saying that.

Also:

DeShawn. Stevenson.

DeShawn Stevenson, DeShawn-in' all over dem hoes. Verdict: I Love You.

I will not be posting this weekend. Back on Monday.

With a Lookin’ Boy.

Yes.

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