Urban Meyer is ridiculous. And I mean that.

Brandon Spikes tried to stab someone in the eye.

Oh my gosh WHY.

He puts his hand, up to his wrist, inside that guy’s facemask.

I get the incidental grabbing of facemasks. I get roughing the passer. That can be fun since quarterbacks are so whiny and stuff. (Especially Brady)

But this is threatening this guy beyond just football.

Now I would say eyes rank verrrrryyy high on my list of places to protect, after heart and brain.

Eyes are the most important facial feature. Besides facial hair of course.

Eyes are so expressive. They are also very pretty.

OH YEAH AND THEY HELP YOU SEE AND LIVE.

Brandon Spikes deserves to be suspended for more than just a half.

Urban Meyer needs to seriously like watch that video.

That’s like assault. No joke.

Straight up assault.

Quarterbacks can’t claim assault because they know part of football is getting hit.

But this guy is not running headfirst into Spikes’ hand, which would be lolz, but he isn’t.

He is falling towards the ground and Spikes decides to jam his hand where the sun don’t shine.

And by that I mean the peepers.

I don’t know what I am madder about: Brandon Spikes hand job or Urban Meyer’s lack of any spine.

Urban Meyer is like a football genius. But I mean really?

Bro?

P.S.

I’m back.

And I have LOTS of stuff to be mad about.

Urban Meyer

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