The Con-Cup Con-Spiracy.

Everyone who’s anyone knows that the USA lost to Brazil in a HeartBreaker, 3-2, in the Confederations Cup in South of Nowhere, South Africa.

South of Nowhere is a show. Now you understand my pop culture reference. You’re welcome.

This Picture is South of that Text up there. Just saying.
This Picture is South of that Text up there. Just saying.

Now, everybody and their brother knew the United States would at least give up one goal to the Samba Kings. (Yes, that is actually their nickname)

Two goals? I could see it.

Three goals? I’m suspicious.

Three goals in the 2nd Half, blowing a 2-0 first half lead? There’s conspiracy afoot!

Now it would be easy to blame Brazillian Shamans or US Soccer or something else I can’t think of, but no. The Internet makes it that much easier.

Look at the timestamp.
Look at the timestamp.

LOOK AT IT.

Now, I forget. Was this game played at 4 o clock in the morning? No.

The only location in the world where this game was played at 4 in the morning was Australia.

And if I know Australians, they were sleeping.

“But FantastikSports, Arthur Antunes Coimbra isn’t Australian and maybe its a clerical error. Right?”

FALSE. He is the coach of CSKA Moscow! MOSCOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what time it is in Moscow right now? 7:57. By the time this posts, that will mean NOTHING to you!!!!!!!!!!

I know. I am as upset as you are.

USA! USA! USA!

So yeah. It was fixed. But who’s surprised?

"Funny Picture. Surprise! Chicken is a little early!" -Person I Hate
"Funny Picture. Surprise! Chicken is a little early!" -Person I Hate

NOT FUNNY, IDIOT.

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