Yeah whatever. I lost count of the mock drafts. Besides the last I ever heard of AOL was AOL 6.0. So it’s a throwback post.
Because of the throwback style of this post, I’m going to Mock Draft the 2008 Draft.
Just kidding. But if I did, would you read?
1. LA Clippers
FS! Dream Pick: Steph Curry.
This eternally damned franchise can’t afford to screw up this can’t-miss, last-second-buzzer-beater-from-half-court-shot. That being said, I can totally see Dunleavy throwing his weight around and picking Curry. But not really.
Actual Pick: Blake Griffin.
If they don’t pick Blizzy Blake Griffin then I’ll eat my hat. (Hint: I’m not wearing a hat.)
2. Memphis Grizzlies
FS! Dream Pick: Tyreke Evans.
The Memphis Connection.’Reke and the Grizz. I’m going crazy just thinking about OJ “da Juiceman” Mayo and ‘Reke in the same Backcourt. Now you are too.
Actual Pick: Hasheem Thabeet.
There’s a chance they could actually take Ricky “The Next Pistol Pete” Rubio aka The Young Gun but there’s no way he wants to play in a place like Memphis. Thabeet is like a poor man’s Marcus Camby. And last I checked, Marcus had 4 Defensive Players of the Year Awards. Just saying. (Hint: I didn’t check.)
3. Oklahoma City Thunder
FS! Dream Pick: Blake Griffin.
The OKConnection. Westbrook and Griffin and KDurant and JGreen. This is a team on the verge. And its no secret that I’ve been on the Bandwagon since last season. So let’s be honest.
Actual Pick: James Harden.
Another possible location for RickRub aka The Young Gun. I give OKC the edge in the RickRubRodeo because of the Nuecleus they have and he might actually fit. But still. Its OKC. James Harden is a pretty solid pick and should have enough swag to remain relevant. I made that stuff up. I only like him because NBADraft.net has him as a combo platter of Manu Ginobili and Brandon Roy. I think the combo of flopping and swag should leave him as Brandon’s last name. ROY. Rookie of the Year.
4. Sacramento Kings
FS! Dream Pick: Gerald Henderson.
Well it’s more like a Dream Scenario. The Kings draft Gerald Henderson and then don’t return his calls/emails/anything. Gerald Henderson melts into nothingness. Yeah. That could happen.
Actual Pick: Ricky Rubio.
It’s pretty clear that SacTown wants RickRollRub aka The Young Gun. It’s also pretty clear Ricky wants a Big City place. Does he know anything about Sacramento?
5. Washington Wizards
FS! Dream Pick: Omri Casspi.
Why, you ask? Because President Obama holds a LOT more swing than you think. And Casspi is from Israel. International Relations 101.
Actual Pick: Jordan Hill.
I don’t know anything about Jordan Hill.
P.S. If I hadn’t pick Steph already in my Dream Draft, I would have given him to the Wizards. With Gilbert Arenas aka Agent Zero and Steph “Drops Dimes” Curry on the same team, there wouldn’t be enough shots to go around. That would force a trade of DeShawn Stevenson to OKC for cash considerations. Just saying.
P.P.S. Or that scenario could force a trade of Darius Songalia and JaVale McGee to the Raptors for Chris Bosh. Just saying.
P.P.P.S. Who’s JaVale McGee? He plays for Washington and enjoys doing pull-ups and working out his abs to a collection of R&B Slow Jams.