French Open Controspiracy

So yeah. I forgot Lookin’ Boy yesterday. Sue me.

Anyway.

So Rafael Nadal is out of the French Open. (I don’t care if that’s not how his name is spelled. I’m not bothering to spell check it.)

Old news, right?

Not anymore. Not since I made up the conspiracy.

So we all know that Rafa (yes, I’m on a nickname basis) wears clothes that make him look like a pirate.

Or just weird.

What are those? Capris? Gauchos? Clam Diggers? Go back to fashion school. Oh you didn't go to fashion school? Well that explains alot. Am I right? Yes.
What are those? Capris? Gauchos? Clam Diggers? Go back to fashion school. Oh you didn't go to fashion school? Well that explains alot. Am I right? Yes.

Anyway.

Another thing we all know is that the French Open is played on CLAY.

Yes, they make courts out of clay now. I know, it’s weird.

Because of this clay, what happens?

Look at those beautiful shoes. Becoming orange. Thanks for nothing, clay.
Look at those beautiful shoes. Becoming orange. Thanks for nothing, clay.

One last piece of the fashionverspiracy. (That’s FASHION + controVERSy + conPIRACY) [P.S. Look for this math joke to come back later!]

Nike.

Sponsor of Nadal.

You know what Nike likes? SWEATSHOPS.

That’s what I thought.

So what does Nike have to do because of the French Open? Make more clothes, using more sweatshops.

And Nadal, being a man of the children, hates the idea of sweatshops.

So what did he go and do?

Shaved points. He intentionally lost. He cheated. He used steroids. He did what it took.

Don’t act like you didn’t know this.

Leave it to me to tinker with the numbers:

Rafa Nadal + Nike = Bad News Tennis Shoes.

Rafa + Kids – French Open = Less work for both of them.

And if you didn’t already know, the Tennis Pirate has other things to do.

Like be lazy.

Lazy AND Shirtless? Sign me up!
Lazy AND Shirtless? Sign me up!

P.S. This is the only post ever categorized under the “Tennis” Category. Just some fun FS! info!

!

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One thought on “French Open Controspiracy

  1. Try to open our mind to this conspiracy. You are on the right path with the whole Nike sweat shop things, but you have to really open your mind. Once you open up, try reposting again.
    Remember… Open your mind.

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