A Battle of Words with Manny Ramirez

It’s Friday/Saturday, when I usually do a fake interview.

At the end, there will be two amazing facts I learned recently.

One about Ron Artest and the other about Darius Miles.

***********************************

FS!: Manny, thanks for joining us. Actually, its just me. Oh well, I’ll edit that out later.

MR: What’s up man. Love the blog, by the way.

FS!: Really? Thanks. I appreciate the love.

MR: Yeah. Most blog hate me. But you’re always so respectful towards everyone, regardless of ability or personality.

FS!: Yeah, yeah. I guess I am. Thanks, Manny.

MR: Please, call me Man-Ram.

FS!: I am not going to call you that.

MR: Please?

FS!: Moving on. So Mannybaby, I’m going to get right down to business. But first, I’ll open up with some easy questions.

MR: Sounds good.

FS!: I’ve heard you do some community building and charity work in your home country of the Dominican Republic. What’s that like?

MR: Who’d you hear that from?

FS!: Ummm..

MR: I don’t do charity work. Are you serious? I don’t run out ground balls. You think I would do service for my home country?

FS!: Yes. A lot of major league players are doing it. [At this point, I almost said “Kinda like steroids” Did I make the right decision? Read onward, ho!]

MR: Liar.

FS!: Wha.. Oka… Well okay then.

MR: Moving ONWARD, ho.

That whole "Onward Ho" thing reminded me of the Oregon Trail. The game, not the actual trail thing.
That whole "Onward Ho" thing reminded me of the Oregon Trail. The game, not the actual trail thing.

FS!: How ironic.

MR: What’s ironic?

FS!: It’s dramatic irony. You wouldn’t understand.

MR: Why do you I assume I don’t understand darmatic irony?

FS!: You spelled it wrong. And you pronounced it wrong.

MR: How do you how I spell something I say?

FS!: I’m a blogger. I KNOW EVERYTHING. I have no respect for print media. I’m too busy living in my mom’s basement.

MR: Isn’t that an unfair stereotype propgated by the “normal” media that is hesistant to make the inexorable move online?

FS!: Why yes, yes it is.

MR: Oh, okay. Just wondering.

FS!: So did you take performance enhancing drugs?

MR: No.

FS!: Then why have you been suspended for 50 games?

MR: You can be suspended for any substance violation, not just PEDs.

FS!: Okay. Then did you take substances which violated the league’s policy?

MR: No.

FS!: Then why are you suspended?

MR: Clerical error.

FS!: The MLB suspended one of its most popular players due to a CLERICAL ERROR?

MR: Yes.

FS!: I find that hard to believe.

MR: Look, I have done nothing wrong. The only explanation is clerical error.

Something saying something about Google's clerical error lookin boy. I believe eBay was somehow involved sometimes.
Something saying something about Google's clerical error lookin boy. I believe eBay was somehow involved sometimes.

FS!: This is stupid. No one in their right mind thinks that.

MR: I do.

FS!: Mr. Ramirez, then you are insane.

MR: I am. In the membrane.

FS!: Is now the time for a Cypress Hill reference?

MR: Every time is the right time for that, babe.

Manny Ramirez likes Cypress Hill. Because of their looks.
Manny Ramirez likes Cypress Hill. Because of their looks.

FS!: Moving on. How do you feel about MannyWood being replaced by JuanPierreWood?

MR: I hate it. Juan Pierre sucks.

FS!: That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?

MR: No. Juan Pierre definitely sucks.

FS!: But over the past full 4 seasons, from 2005-2008, Juan Pierre has batted .286 and OBP’d .329. Oh and he’s hit a whopping 6 home runs! 6!

MR: All those arguments you made just proved my point.

FS!: I guess they did.

MR: Juan Pierre sucks.

FS!: He’s not even good.

I wonder if the image will actually change like it's supposed to.
I wonder if the image will actually change like it's supposed to.

***********************************

Is there a Manny-Juan Pierre beef? Probably.

Do I have anymore rhetorical questions? No.

This is a real shirt. Like people buy it. Sarcastic people.
This is a real shirt. Like people buy it. Sarcastic people.

Darius Miles got arrested. Not sure if anyone cares anymore.

Ron Artest thinks that the five-dollar-footlong song should be played in the clubs.

DIRECT QUOTE.

“‘Five Dollar Foot-long’ is one of the best songs,” Artest said. “That’s a hot song. You’ve got the FreeCreditReport.com, and then ‘Five Dollar Foot-long’ comes on. When ‘Five Dollar Foot-long’ comes on, they should play that in the club. They should play all those in the club.”

Ron-Ron’s such a gangsta.

Honestly, what is with people having shirtless pictures as the FIRST IMAGE OF THEM ON GOOGLE.
Honestly, what is with people having shirtless pictures as the FIRST IMAGE OF THEM ON GOOGLE.
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One thought on “A Battle of Words with Manny Ramirez

  1. Honestly, who does the middle guy in the Cypress Hill picture look like? Big Daddy Don? Thought so.

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