All-NBA Teams.

Some dude named Bethlehem Shoals decided to look at the All-NBA Teams.

FreeDarko feat. Bethlehem Shoals.
FreeDarko feat. Bethlehem Shoals.

I’ma show him how its done.

PLAUSIBLE: Deron Williams, Kevin Garnett, Chris Bosh, Danny Granger, Joe Johnson, Kevin Durant, David West, Mo Williams, Al Jefferson, Devin Harris.

RANDOM: Steve Nash, Antawn Jamison, Ray Allen, Nene, LaMarcus Aldridge, David Lee, Paul Millsap, Andre Iguodala.

STUPID: Rajon Rondo, Derrick Rose, Andre Miller, Hedo Turkoglu.

PERVERSE: Vince Carter, O.J. Mayo, Carlos Boozer, Caron Butler, Jermaine O’Neal, Mehmet Okur.

So those are what he thinks about the votes.

I’m going to forgo the whole Plausible garbage cuz those are pretty legit.

Random.

Nash was mad weak this season. He proved that without D’Antoni, none of the “7 Seconds or Less” Suns are worth anything to anyone. Except their families. And even then….

Antawn is legit. He ripped it up for my fantasy team. So let’s be honest.

Ray Allen was decent. I guess. He is basically an older, less awesome Jason Kapono.

NeNe and LaMarcus were the same person to me.

David Lee is white.

This was the FIRST image of David Lee on Google Images. If I had to work to find it, I would be less worried. But THE FIRST, I say. I'm scared.
This was the FIRST image of David Lee on Google Images. If I had to work to find it, I would be less worried. But THE FIRST, I say. I'm scared.

Paul Millsap is black.

Andre Iguodala can dunk.

Moving on.

Stupid.

Rajon Rondo should probably be in the Perverse group. He’s the Kia Rondo if NBA Starting Point Guards are Mini-Vans.

Rajon Rondo's suit is TOO small.
Rajon Rondo's suit is TOO small.

Derrick Rose is under-rated in my opinion. He should probably be in the Plausible category.

Andre Miller is more Random than Stupid because he kept the Sixers relevant.

Hedo is really not that bad.

Perverse.

VC is definitely random and really stupid. I agree, Beth-y.

OJ Mayo is stupid. But the almost R.O.Y. makes it not necessarily Perverse.

Carlos Boozer and Jermaine O’Neal are totz random and defintely Perverse.

Mehmet Okur is the definition of Perverse.

Mehmet Okur and family on what I hope is Halloween. But then again, I can't be sure its Halloween....
Mehmet Okur and family on what I hope is Halloween. But then again, I can't be sure its Halloween....

Caron Butler is in absolutely NO WAY Perverse. He is one of my favorite players.

If Sebastian Telfair got a vote, then we could talk.

If Rajon got more than a few votes, then we could talk.

If Jason Kapono wasn’t awesome, then we could talk.

But no. Caron Butler is good enough to warrant votes.

Don’t talk to me Beth-y.

NOTE: Although at the beginning of the post and throughout the post I act like I don’t know/don’t care who Bethlehem Shoals is, of course I know who he is. He writes for FreeDarko which is so legit. And The Sporting Blog, also legit. I see you Beth-y.

FreeDarko. The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac. Go buy this book. It's genius.
FreeDarko. The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac. Go buy this book. It's genius.

GO BUY THAT BOOK.

5 thoughts on “All-NBA Teams.

  1. This was one of the hardest posts I’ve ever written. Key: Free your mind and remember the votes aren’t on whether not these dudes are quality, but whether they deserved a spot on this year’s All-NBA teams. At the expense of some guy who did make it.

  2. Dude, totally honored that you commented.
    I think your stuff’s legit.
    Also, I have TSB and The Baseline RSS’d.
    Next time I post about you or FD, I’ll holla at that too.

  3. I don’t think Rondo’s suit is too small. The sleeves may be an inch too short, but I think it looks great. 🙂

Leave a comment