a fake interview with the real lance armstrong

lance armstrong.

he asked ME for an interview.

he wants to get his story out to the 5 people that will read this.

yes, i am talking to YOU.

anyway here it is.


FantastikSports: Hey Lance.

Lance Armstrong: Sup. I have a question. What do I call you?

FS!: Just call me Sheryl Crow.

LA: That is both really stupid and really hurtful.

FS!: You aren’t that familiar with this blog are you?

LA: Nope.

FS!: Oh. Anyway. How’s the c-bone?

LA: Oh you know, same old.

FS!: Really? Because it was in 4 chunks. That sounds like different new, not same old.

LA: Yeah well. When you have won the Tour De France 7 times in a row, broken collarbones don’t hurt you anymore.

FS!: Oh so you mean compared to the pain of the Tours, this is nothing?

LA: No i mean winning that many times makes your collarbone, and only your collarbone, does not hurt every.

FS!: That makes no sense.

LA: Not to you.

FS!: Anyway. Enough easy questions. Did you use steroids?

LA: Yes. And i know what you’re thinking, but it wasnt like that.

FS!: How was it not “like that”?

LA: Don’t ask questions.

FS!: Well if i can’t ask questions, this is going to be an awkward interview.

LA: Story of my life.

FS!: How? How is THAT the story of your life?

LA: It just felt right.

FS!: How do you feel about your nicknames?

LA: I didn’t think i had any nicknames.

FS!: Well there’s Sir Lancealot. Mr. Tour. And then there’s another one thats kind of offensive.

LA: What is it?

FS!: Have you never heard it?

LA: Noperroni.

FS!: Lance CollarboneWeak

LCW: What does that even mean?

FS!: Well see.. your real name is ArmStrong.

LCW: No its just Armstrong, not ArmStrong.

FS!: Oh okay. Anyway. Armstrong, and you broke your collarbone, its a play on your last name.

LCW: It seems stupid. Whoever made it up is stupid.

FS!: Yeah. That’s true. But he probably has a pretty cool blog, don’t ya think?

LCW: Why would I think that?

FS!: No reason. Hey, when we see the guy who made up that cruel, but awesome nickname, let’s beat him up.

LCW: Yeah. Do you know where we can find this dude?

FS!: No. I have never heard anything about him. Or his blog.


So there you have it.

Lance Armstrong is looking for you, person who made up that nickname.

P.S. It was me Lance.

P.P.S. Lance Armstrong said Nopperoni. Which is a combination of Nope and Pepperoni.

P.P.P.S. Noperroni ftw.

Matt + Lance 4eva!
Matt + Lance 4eva!

5 thoughts on “a fake interview with the real lance armstrong

  1. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahah
    collarboneweak ahahahahahah

    1. working as a chief coach cycling for indian cycling team for forthcoming commonwealth games 2010 to be held at India. Want to keep regular contact with you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s