a fake interview with the real lance armstrong

lance armstrong.

he asked ME for an interview.

he wants to get his story out to the 5 people that will read this.

yes, i am talking to YOU.

anyway here it is.

************************************

FantastikSports: Hey Lance.

Lance Armstrong: Sup. I have a question. What do I call you?

FS!: Just call me Sheryl Crow.

LA: That is both really stupid and really hurtful.

FS!: You aren’t that familiar with this blog are you?

LA: Nope.

FS!: Oh. Anyway. How’s the c-bone?

LA: Oh you know, same old.

FS!: Really? Because it was in 4 chunks. That sounds like different new, not same old.

LA: Yeah well. When you have won the Tour De France 7 times in a row, broken collarbones don’t hurt you anymore.

FS!: Oh so you mean compared to the pain of the Tours, this is nothing?

LA: No i mean winning that many times makes your collarbone, and only your collarbone, does not hurt every.

FS!: That makes no sense.

LA: Not to you.

FS!: Anyway. Enough easy questions. Did you use steroids?

LA: Yes. And i know what you’re thinking, but it wasnt like that.

FS!: How was it not “like that”?

LA: Don’t ask questions.

FS!: Well if i can’t ask questions, this is going to be an awkward interview.

LA: Story of my life.

FS!: How? How is THAT the story of your life?

LA: It just felt right.

FS!: How do you feel about your nicknames?

LA: I didn’t think i had any nicknames.

FS!: Well there’s Sir Lancealot. Mr. Tour. And then there’s another one thats kind of offensive.

LA: What is it?

FS!: Have you never heard it?

LA: Noperroni.

FS!: Lance CollarboneWeak

LCW: What does that even mean?

FS!: Well see.. your real name is ArmStrong.

LCW: No its just Armstrong, not ArmStrong.

FS!: Oh okay. Anyway. Armstrong, and you broke your collarbone, its a play on your last name.

LCW: It seems stupid. Whoever made it up is stupid.

FS!: Yeah. That’s true. But he probably has a pretty cool blog, don’t ya think?

LCW: Why would I think that?

FS!: No reason. Hey, when we see the guy who made up that cruel, but awesome nickname, let’s beat him up.

LCW: Yeah. Do you know where we can find this dude?

FS!: No. I have never heard anything about him. Or his blog.

************************************

So there you have it.

Lance Armstrong is looking for you, person who made up that nickname.

P.S. It was me Lance.

P.P.S. Lance Armstrong said Nopperoni. Which is a combination of Nope and Pepperoni.

P.P.P.S. Noperroni ftw.

Matt + Lance 4eva!
Matt + Lance 4eva!
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5 thoughts on “a fake interview with the real lance armstrong

  1. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahah
    collarboneweak ahahahahahah

    1. working as a chief coach cycling for indian cycling team for forthcoming commonwealth games 2010 to be held at India. Want to keep regular contact with you.

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