handicapping the oscars.


get your bookie on the line.

or in some cases i have heard of recently, your play money bookie.

i will pick the oscar winners.

if i miss a single pick, tell me.

here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo

best supporting actor.

don’t have time to fact check.

heath ledger. the dark night.

how could he lose? even the academy is on his side.

sorry emilie hirsch or some other noobs from Milk.

best supporting actress.

um um um um i dont know whos up for this and im trying to finish in 5 minutes…

um um um um ……………….

so i looked it up.

and its either gonna be Amy Adams from doubt cuz i don’t DOUBT she’s hot.

cmon. that worked in my head…


Penelope Cruz from Vicky Christina Barcelona.

cuz she’s hot.

i’ll go with penelope by a nose. a hot nose.


i’m sorry.

animated film.

so yeah ONLY 3 MOVIES?!

if wall-e doesnt win it will be because no one cares who wins.

its a critics darling.

for some reason.

NEVER pick against a critics darling.


best actor.

5. richard jenkins.

never heard of him that is why he is ranked 5 out of 5

4. Frank Langella aka Richard Nixon.

i want him to win. sean penn edges him out in the political best actor noob.

3. sean penn

milk is good for bones, but not good for best actors. sorry mystic river fans, sean’s not taking this bad boy.

2. brad pitt.

he aged backwards? WOAH. stupid concept based on a stupid writer who had one good stupid book. (the writer is f. scott fitzgerald and he wrote the great gatsby.)

1. mickey rourke.

hope i spelled that right.

anyway i think this movie would be good.

he looks horrible in it but that is part of the schtick.

you wouldnt understd. you arent a student of theater like myself.

best actress.

since confessions of a shopaholic did NOT make it out in time,

i will give this bad boy (or girl in this case?) to……

anne hathaway.


cuz her movie had a guy from tv on the radio in it.

TV ON THE RADIO is a fantastik band.

if that doesn’t seal the deal what will.

a lame story about a crazy lady (changeling?) NO ANGELINA

a movie i have never heard of (frozen river?) NO LADY I DONT KNOW

a dumb, lame, gunning-for-that-oscar-nod movie about the church (doubt?) NO MERRYL STREEP SHE IS HORRIBLE I H8 HER!!!!!!

or a lame movie that just came out that is about reading (the reader?) NOOOOOO KATE WINSLET!!!!!!

its rachel’s getting married by default.

the guy from tv on the radio is on the far right.
the guy from tv on the radio is on the far right. anne hathaway is one of the others....
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