Apple Pays Michael millions just to have headphones in his ears.
What would he listen to if he werent listening to the sound of money?
In an exclusive FS! interview, he chatted with me:
FS!: Hey Mike. Im gonna call you mike. Hope thats okay mike. Mic.
MP: What? Oh sorry i was too busy not doing this interview. How did you even set this up?
FS!: Ill ask the questions mike. Or else.
MP: Is that a threat? Like for real man?
FS!: Hahaha you talk like an idiot. Like for real man. [Turned that around on him. Me-1, Mike-0]
MP: I won eight gold medals as of like i dunno 10 minutes ago. How does that make you feel?
FS!: Like for real man? You swim. Try winning like for real man 8 golds in team handball, or cycling. THAT would be impressive.
MP: What have you done with your life?
FS!: I’m sorry who’s running the interview?
MP: I don’t honestly know.
FS!: Me either.
Anywho, what do you listen to before a big race?
MP: I listen to nothing. I get the big bucks from apple or sony or whoever wants me to fake wear their headphones. I actually listen to stuff sometimes. They just want me to listen to nothing. Don’t print that.
FS!: So what DO you listen to?
MP: I just told you nothing, dammit.
FS!: Wait, I thought you said sometimes you do.
MP: Oh right. I made a stupid. [blah blah blah… swimming…you get the picture…butterfly…sidestroke…swimsuits…blah blah blah]. Mostly Weezy.
FS!: Is this libel?
MP: No. I am waiving my right to sue. Or take any legal action. Even though this would only matter if people read this blog. Which they dont. Especially not me. Thanks. I am Michael Phelps. Live from Beijing. Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps. 8 golds. Phelps. Hot. 8 golds.
There you have it ladies and gentlemen.
He listens to weezy.
only when the moneys good.
think about it.
thats an opinion.
This is the first installment in a series of me faking interviews with current celebrities. Just wait til next week.