College Football Preview: Big Ten

I will literally go conference by conference until I get bored.

So print these out and give them to people.

Indiana's Favorite Son. Kind of. What position does he play again?

Indiana.

Well Ill project them as around a 2nd or 3rd tier big ten team. keep in mind, in my mind, there are two tiers in the big ten so theyre pretty weak. although on a scale of fluke-y alums who switched positions in the pros and play for a stupid team, theyre first rate.

ANTWAN Randle-el. who cares if i spelled it wrong? he did some reverse thing in the super bowl that i kinda remember.

You May say he is indiana’s favorite son. you would be wrong first off. HOLLA At Ron Artest. Also indiana needs someone with a definite position, unlike their senators [Note: political humor? ALWAYS funny.]

So Like really is he a quarterback or wide out? the answer is wide out idiot. he played one in college. he was much better at the other. which they didnt find out in time. or did they?

VIEW IMAGES. whuddup.

Illinois.

How can he even stand up?

I was gonna put them like 6th or 7th. I dunno. I really dont know that much about them.

I know I like that juice guy. does he still go there? if so then maybe more like 4? who doesnt love juice i guess?

Any Illini fan care to comment? but keep in mind before you comment, I will pester you with questions about your offensive hateful mascot who I blame for abour 69% or so of all Native American suffering. Trail of Bad Football, idiots. WHAT ARE YOU CROSSING YOUR ARMS FOR?!

A Note: Due To Formatting Issues, I will be updating this post consistently.

Way too long ago.
Way too long ago.

Iowa.

They were good back when that had that quarterback. Boy howdy could he throw. Could never win the big one though. Dagnabbit. Hawkeye. Ne’er beat the cyclones though. Kids these days.

Wish I had more to say about iowa..

Northwestern.

Love Chicago. Evanstons close. Hate the cubs. This is a smart people school. They are basically a football joke. But I mean look for them to surprise some people. Hell a win would surprise a LOT of people. Ya dig?

Also purple as a main color? you gotta be kidding me.

Someone call the monochrome police. and the donut police!

Anger
Anger

Penn State.

Wow. It would helped if the place they played wasnt called happy valley. CLICHE MUCH?!

I would probably make a joePa is old joke but cmon this is a professional blog. He is a nice kind warm-hearted old man. but really stop coaching asap. for everyones sake, including your own.

especially me.

Purdue.

My cousin went there. There are no good barbers in West Lafayette. How good a foot ball team could they possibly have?

I expect them to at least win ONE game. Notre Dame. and also lose to oregon. because dennis dixon went there. can you say WINNER? i can. winner. obvious? yes. awesome? yes. me? yes.

Wisconsin.

Finally a halfway decent school. Maybe they’ll be bowl eligible. and the bowl people will realize the worthlessness of this conference. WIN A BCS GAME IDIOTS.

ESPN says they have alot on the line. Ya like winning a game that matters. against someone not in the conference. Michigan and Ohio State no longer matters. And frankly never did. This is one article i can see people hating. hmm.

Wisconsin though, OUCH they play Fresno State. Thats gonna be a tough loss. But theyre used to not being good so they will be FINE. trust me.

Final four here we go:

Minnesota.

Since MB3 and Laurence “Strays from contact” Macaroni left, who cares? People who like minnesota, that’s who. Do i ask questions and then answer them too much? yes. deal with that.

HA.

I am hilarious. I like minnesotas chances of being the first team in this preview to win more games than you can count on one hand. 6.

Michigan State.

They can win a buncha games. My two big upsets are Michigan and Ohio State. I dont honestly know if they play both but if they do bet on them.

I mean cmon. Drew Neitzel went there. He got torn apart by memphis. They could only lose in football if they play either memphis or someone better than them thats not in the big ten. duh.

Spartans wow. nice nickname. i blame them for the pelloponesian war. hope i spelled that right. holla at my spell check.

Michigan.

Wolverines and Rich Rod? A losing combo. You heard it here first. They will lose more games than they win. Even though

are these guys faster drunk and painted then all of the michigan team? yes except for rich rod. hes faster.
are these guys faster drunk and painted then all of the michigan team? yes except for rich rod. hes faster.

hey dont play appilachin state. i need to learn to spell. am i the only one that thinks that?

hmm.

ohio state will come out on top of michigan 60-3. place bets on that. i dont know how you would place such a bet. someone care to comment and explain?? thanks babe.

Rich Rod should never ever ever have left west va. theyre good. michigan is slow as ever. stupid big ten. get faster or ill stop believeing in you. oops that happened like 10 years ago. sorry yall.

Ohio State.

Wow since MoCla left, they have been better. However

Cute idea. Stole it from me obviously.
Cute idea. Stole it from me obviously.

they also have not. They won a title with MoCla. Bring him back? I think that would be a good idea actually. Except hes in prison. I think. right?

Beanie williams or god knows whatever, is fast. but big ten fast, not like actually human fast. He can outrun a cornerback ON SCHOLARSHIP mind you, and all that CB does is work out and train and run, but yet will be terrible in the NFL if he even makes it there. That should tell you something about beenie. hes also VERY worthless and overrated.

Vote for him for heisman. that would be worse than it NOT going to colt brennan. good lord am i right yall?

BIG TEN ACCOMPLISHED. NEXT UP BEEF HOLDING DOWN BIG 12. Sometime next week. maybe after. beef?

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