Personally the MLB All-Star Game is worthless to me

But I will do the snubs and what not and my other ideas. whatever comes up. thank me later. here we go.

AL All-Stars

First of all, what the hell RedSox.

Try voting in whos good, not your team. Its like you want me to hate you more.

GOAL SUCCESSFUL BadSox Nation. Call me when you lose to the Rays? [My phone’s not ringingggggg]

Whatevz. I hate the redsox. end of story.

Moving on, although not really

DAVID ORTIZ?

DAVID ORTIZ?

someone get theo epstein on the phone. no? okay.

but really.. he is injured. and RICHIE SEXSON’S in the AL.

HOW COULD YOU vote him in?!

I could play better than him. I think.

Joakim Soria.

Who is he. Vote in Alex Gordon for the token KC Player. JOAKIM SORIA? what has he done for me lately? answer:nothing hes not on my fantasy team anyway.

6 relief pitchers?

this is not a REAL team. It is an all star team. actually this means nothing to me. but ESPN said i should be outraged. [Holler at George Sherill’s hat brim]

Hold up… ICHIRO??

He should only be in if he is honey nut flavored. HOney Nut Ichiros.

WHUDDUP.

NO but really. He just got over .300 like yesterday. A guy who makes his cash batting while running should be batting like god knows, I’d say like  .450

I wish that maybe instead of him, they picked David Murphy to give the Rangers 5? Still better than Big Papi though..

Derek and A-Rod.

Both? How many do you need new york? There are 5 boroughs for god sakes.

Stop being greedy and let KC/LAAOA have some. Besides they couldnt cut it on my fantasy team, none the less an All-Star team? wow. [My fantasy team’s in 7th ANYWAY!]

Moving on.

NL All-Stars

Geovany Soto.

Gosh is he awesome. With a name like Soto, you should have picked a different career. However he is batting .340 (or at least BABIP-ing that) Still my hatred for the self-pitying Cubs sees no end ever. So still i question why a pirate was not taken for this spot. Thus exposing myself as a pirate fan. whoops.

Lance Berkman

I would like him if he wasn’t an astro, was not slow, and did not suck.

Call me lance.

Hanley Ramirez

Han-ram

I can get behind him. So the first pick that I write about that I LIKE. Thank you, all-star voters, for not voting in a Cub here. Han-ram likes to rock, and party, therefore deserves this spot.

I also like Chase Utley. Wish the pirates had himm…

The Outfield

I dont like the cubs. So i will spare you reading my rant about how they will continue to suck even if they win the world series. [maybe another day…]

Ryan Braun has fluke written all over him. However the brewers did just get CC. Which makes them worse. hm.

Its like they want a fat, lefty who sucked until he played for a contract and now that he was one will continue to suck.

Props for the brim though.

That picture should scare you. It scares me every night.
That picture should scare you. It scares me every night.

The Two Pitchers I Like

Tim Lincecum and Edinison Volquez.

They are actually good and not crazy. And if they are crazy its in a crazy good way. And they play for crappy teams. And I like the reds uniforms. and the rangers had e-vol for awhile. What a nickname gone to waste.

that and possibly thomas edinison. he lights up batters.

i am amazing. right? right? [yes]

Oh b-webb too. I like him.

Nate McLouth

He is the second best pirate. Roberto Clemente is the best. SO i guess the all-star should be him. I like the x-man too.

I assume everyone knows the x-man is Xavier Nady. Right?

Good. Now that were all on the same page ill continue.

Josh Hamilton will win the State Farm Home Run Derby. I have no dignity. State Farm, wanna sponsor a blog? No, okay. I’ll try later.

I Like Money. State Farm?
Now What?
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