NBA Draft ReduxXx

Chicago: Michael Beasley.

If I’m doing the draft over, I’m picking number one differently. Even if Rose smells sweet, wait til he gets on the court [Talk about sweat!]

Miami: Derrick Rose

If I owned the Heat, and Rose was still on the board, I would pick Rose, even though you have D-Wade to eat up minutes. You can’t teach pissing off the T’Wolves.

Minnesota: Danillo Garnaillai

You know who I’m talking about.

Seattle: [PICK TRADED TO HOUSTON for John Lucas III]

You may be thinking—

A. John Lucas doesn’t even play anymore, nor is he on the Rockets roster (or Rock-ster if you will)

B. Why the hell do they even want a mediocre point guard?

C. This is the 4th pick in the NBA DRAFT. It’s like someones trying to lose. What is wrong with the guy writing this blog?

I will answer your question with an answer:

The SuperSonics are moving to OKC. JL3 played at OSU. The team that will play in OKC cannot resist the draw of having JL3 on their team. I shall remind you that this is the man that led them to the final four sometime.

Your welcome OKC.

Oh and Houston drafts Kevin Love. NO EXPLANATION NECESSARY. [They will LOVE LOVE] I dont feel good about that…

Memphis: Chris Douglas-Roberts/Joey Dorsey

I think the NBA will let this one slide, seein as the two combined will probably have less than illustrious carrers and Westbrook’s still on the board. Besides Memphis has to get fans somehow. This is the only way.

New York: [PICK TRADED TO CLEVELAND for Delonte West]

The All-Hood backcourt of Delonte and Stephon is irresistible. Even though neither will ever play. Stupid New York Knicks. I’m just waiting for LeBron.

Cleveland drafts OJ Mayo.

Who could resist putting Mayo on their LeBron Sandwich. That was too easy.

Lemme think..

Well OJ likes Dinner’s Served and Getting tossed from his High School Championship GamE.

So he likes TOSSED salad when his DINNER is SERVED.

Your welcome, World Wide Web.

Los Angeles Clippers: Robin Lopez

Mostly by accident. They did not realize that Brook was still on the board. Besides, why draft EITHER this early. The Clippers disappoint me.

You may ask “Why make mistakes like this in your MOCK draft, these seem like very life-like situations?”

Milwaukee: Mario Chalmers

Ever since he made that shot, I have heard nothing but he is a fluke.

Still, since the Yi Jin-lin (i know thats not right, just for the sake of not looking it up) fiasco, they like to remain stupid.

It reminds the fans that they like losing and not getting better. It is like the warmth of a familiar blanket. The problem with this blanket is that it sucks.

Wow that was a weird tangent.. hmm. sorry internet. Get back to me.

New Jersey: Richard Jefferson

Even this makes no sense to me.

Indiana: Jerryd Bayless

In real life, this pick was traded and Jerryd was drafted by uh Portland? Ya that sounds right.

But real talk, the pacers need a catchphrase. I tried to come up with one awhile back but

We Got Mad GRange and/or Feel the Kareem RUSH

Just does NOT ring. Am I right?

So with this pick, the catchphrase for a poorly-run, bad franchise is

You got Jerryd’d.

You pronounce both D sounds. [You got Jerr-red-did]

YOUR WELCOME INDIANA. [My 2nd favorite state starting/ending with a vowel.]

For the sake of everyone’s lives ill stop.

Also, for the sake of the mavericks, draft PEJ. even if he isnt on the board DRAFT HIM.

Better than shan. kinda.

I dont know why i wrote a note to the mavs. The draft already happened. whatevz.

ALSO

Longest entry to date.

624 words. 625 words. THAT could go on forever.

Whuddup ZONA
“I wish I didn’t have to play in Indiana!”

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