The Warriors want Steph Curry at the helm; best. decision. ever.

New reports.

Even after dealing Steph Jackson (yes, I am calling him Steph Jackson) to the Bobcats, the Warriors are trying to deal Monta Ellis:

Multiple NBA sources have confirmed that Monta Ellis’ status with the Warriors could be determined Thursday, when his agent is scheduled to meet with team management in Oakland. Several sources indicate that Ellis’ agent, Jeff Fried, already has discussed the possibility of the Warrriors giving Fried and Ellis permission to talk to other teams to quicken the pace of trade talks. [...]

Multiple sources say that, apparently at Don Nelson’s urging, the Warriors have been calling teams and offering to trade Ellis in recent days … it seems inevitable that Ellis will be traded, presuming that Nelson remains in power, and every source I’ve talked to believes that Nelson will remain in power.

What are they trying to prove?

Unlike most questions on this awesome hilarious blog, this one will be answered.

The Warriors are seeking to get Steph Curry more PT and to run the team ASAP.

Genius.

Lurking in the shadows; Curry awaits his chance to take over the Warriors.

Steph Curry is far more like Pistol Pete than Ricky Rubio.

The Warriors are like the Thunder on crack; the Warriors have a distinct edge, a toughness the chic Thunder do not have.

Monta Ellis is w3t. No question. He’s is a young, lanky Tony Parker, only faster, if that’s possible.

He also wrecked the Mavericks in 07 or 06. I can’t remember which year that was. Wait, 06 is when Miami beat the Mavs in the Finals.

Anyway.

That 8-seed Warriors over 1-seed Mavs featured a swaggerific Warrior team playing Nellie-ball hardcore:

Baron Davis (B. Diddy) swaggin with the beard.

Monta running faster than any Maverick ever (including Brad Davis)

Matt Barnes being Birdman before Birdman was Birdman.

No, not that Birdman. I meant Chris Anderson.

Oh, and Stephen Jackson muggin the city of Dallas like hard.

Without that beastmode nucleus, Monta Ellis is all but worthless.

He is not a featured guard.

Not even his closest comparison, Tony Parker, is alone; Parker has T. Diddy and Manu (and Michael Finley)

Nellie-ball is a team game, not a 2 man game. (The second man is Anthony Randolph in this case)

I am all for a trade of Monta.

But I’m also a fan of young, untested players and am by no means a Warrior fan.

Although I would say a Steph Curry-Anthony Randolph connection would be dope.

That’s got potential to be a more raw Kevin Durant-Russell Westbrook combo. Except that combo is already really raw.

I love the Thunder.

Anthony Randolph would look sweet in a Thunder jersey. No, I mean just wearing it. I'm not implying he would play for them.

NBA Mock Draft 6.0 (Picks 1-5)

Yeah whatever. I lost count of the mock drafts. Besides the last I ever heard of AOL was AOL 6.0. So it’s a throwback post.

Because of the throwback style of this post, I’m going to Mock Draft the 2008 Draft.

Just kidding. But if I did, would you read?

Anyway.

1. LA Clippers

FS! Dream Pick: Steph Curry.

This eternally damned franchise can’t afford to screw up this can’t-miss, last-second-buzzer-beater-from-half-court-shot. That being said, I can totally see Dunleavy throwing his weight around and picking Curry. But not really.

Actual Pick: Blake Griffin.

If they don’t pick Blizzy Blake Griffin then I’ll eat my hat. (Hint: I’m not wearing a hat.)

2. Memphis Grizzlies

FS! Dream Pick: Tyreke Evans.

The Memphis Connection.’Reke and the Grizz. I’m going crazy just thinking about OJ “da Juiceman” Mayo and ‘Reke in the same Backcourt. Now you are too.

Yes, we get it. You look good without a shirt on. Pull your pants up. This isn't Memphis anymore. Oh wait. Yes it is.

Actual Pick: Hasheem Thabeet.

There’s a chance they could actually take Ricky “The Next Pistol Pete” Rubio aka The Young Gun but there’s no way he wants  to play in a place like Memphis. Thabeet is like a poor man’s Marcus Camby. And last I checked, Marcus had 4 Defensive Players of the Year Awards. Just saying. (Hint: I didn’t check.)

3. Oklahoma City Thunder

FS! Dream Pick: Blake Griffin.

The OKConnection. Westbrook and Griffin and KDurant and JGreen. This is a team on the verge. And its no secret that I’ve been on the Bandwagon since last season. So let’s be honest.

Who is he pointing at? Me? I wish.

Actual Pick: James Harden.

Another possible location for RickRub aka The Young Gun. I give OKC the edge in the RickRubRodeo because of the Nuecleus they have and he might actually fit. But still. Its OKC. James Harden is a pretty solid pick and should have enough swag to remain relevant. I made that stuff up. I only like him because NBADraft.net has him as a combo platter of Manu Ginobili and Brandon Roy. I think the combo of flopping and swag should leave him as Brandon’s last name. ROY. Rookie of the Year.

4. Sacramento Kings

FS! Dream Pick: Gerald Henderson.

Well it’s more like a Dream Scenario. The Kings draft Gerald Henderson and then don’t return his calls/emails/anything. Gerald Henderson melts into nothingness. Yeah. That could happen.

I am perplexed.

Actual Pick: Ricky Rubio.

It’s pretty clear that SacTown wants RickRollRub aka The Young Gun. It’s also pretty clear Ricky wants a Big City place. Does he know anything about Sacramento?

5. Washington Wizards

FS! Dream Pick: Omri Casspi.

Why, you ask? Because President Obama holds a LOT more swing than you think. And Casspi is from Israel. International Relations 101.

The guy who Omri is guarding is balding.

Actual Pick: Jordan Hill.

I don’t know anything about Jordan Hill.

P.S. If I hadn’t pick Steph already in my Dream Draft, I would have given him to the Wizards. With Gilbert Arenas aka Agent Zero and Steph “Drops Dimes” Curry on the same team, there wouldn’t be enough shots to go around. That would force a trade of DeShawn Stevenson to OKC for cash considerations. Just saying.

P.P.S. Or that scenario could force a trade of Darius Songalia and JaVale McGee to the Raptors for Chris Bosh. Just saying.

P.P.P.S. Who’s JaVale McGee? He plays for Washington and enjoys doing pull-ups and working out his abs to a collection of R&B Slow Jams.