A Fake Interview with Jimmie Johnson

FS!: Howdy Jimmie. How are things? Darn tootin’?
JJ: Why are you talking like that?
FS!: All racecar drivers are hicks and I figured if I mocked you it would make you feel more welcome.
JJ: Dad-gum son, you done good!
FS!: Anyway, how are you? The season’s winding down, your thoughts.
JJ: Well I’m going to win the Sprint [...]

Note to LeBron James: Really? AND Note to Nate Burleson: Nice call.

LeBron says he doesn’t want to talk about free agency 2010.
Would he rather us talk about his New York-centricness?
First off these are a fashion monstrosity.
The baseball toes or whatever they’re called are awful. The PinStripedBaseball Motif is awful.
You’re playing basketball. You know that right? NO CROSS-SPORT-REFERENCING SHOES. That’s just confusing.
Second off, the Yankees are stupid [...]

Jay Glazer baits me into a rant about the Cowboys Video Board.

http://twitter.com/Jay_Glazer/status/3592734154
I do not follow Jay Glazer on Twitter.
I will never follow Jay Glazer on Twitter.
However, this is one of the greatest Tweets of all time.

Although this doesn’t reference the name, he means the new Cowboys Stadium video board.
Apparently Jay Glazer can’t throw a potato 90 feet in the air. He even tried 4 times. If [...]

The Con-Cup Con-Spiracy.

Everyone who’s anyone knows that the USA lost to Brazil in a HeartBreaker, 3-2, in the Confederations Cup in South of Nowhere, South Africa.
South of Nowhere is a show. Now you understand my pop culture reference. You’re welcome.
Now, everybody and their brother knew the United States would at least give up one goal to the [...]

Lookin’ Boy 20

Harsh? Yes.
The truth hurts, Pattie.
P.S. Someone needs to sign Dionte Christmas ASAP. I want a t-shirt jersey with Christmas on the back. Thanks.

NBA Mock Draft 6.0 (Picks 1-5)

Yeah whatever. I lost count of the mock drafts. Besides the last I ever heard of AOL was AOL 6.0. So it’s a throwback post.
Because of the throwback style of this post, I’m going to Mock Draft the 2008 Draft.
Just kidding. But if I did, would you read?
Anyway.
1. LA Clippers
FS! Dream Pick: Steph Curry.
This eternally [...]

Who is JD Power and Associates?

And who does he think he is?
They are all over the place.
Cars. Realtors. Electronics. Insurance.
If there’s one thing I like, its picking one thing and sticking to it.
Like this blog.
Yes, I use myself as an example.
Get used to it.
But really. Watch TV for like 60 minutes and if you don’t see a commercial that touts [...]

Marcin Gortat aka The Polish Hammer aka The Odom Stopper.

Gortat. The Magic Backup Center. Or in the case of Game 3 the backup backup center to that Battie guy.
Anyway.
So Gortat is tatt’d up, like every other Polish NBA Player.
Don’t know any Polish NBA Players? Here’s some:
Wojciech Barycz. Dawid Przybyszewski. Zbigniew Bialek. Briskcz Lareiswch.
I made only ONE of those names up. Guess which.
(P.S. It’s the [...]

Adam Lambert Got Robbed all over the gym!

Interesting capitalization in the title. Oh well.
Read on:

AT&T says its employees didn’t change the outcome of “American Idol.”
The company says a few of its overeager employees took demo phones with them to “American Idol” viewing parties in Arkansas, and helped fans text their votes.
According to a person familiar with the gatherings, about 20 phones [...]

NBA Draft Lottery and Whatever Else Comes Up.

The NBA Draft Lottery may be over by the time you read this.
Good luck.
Why do team’s bomb to go for the Number 1 spot.
Sure, the odds for that team are better.
But let’s be honest. Since 1900, the year the Draft Lottery was founded-ish, the 2 worst-record-having teams have won a whopping 6 times.
Fact Check: The [...]